Obama portends grim future for cash-strapped CEOs

The decision by the Obama administration to unilaterally cap the salaries of executives from companies that ask the government for money at $500,000 has caused much controversy among the country's super-rich, who are worried that they may no longer be able to afford caviar baths and solid gold whores.  

The plan, which would be enacted by the US Treasury and thus would not need Congress approval, only limits the cash salaries of executives, not their stock benefits, which form a much higher proportion of their total remuneration. The only caveat is the stocks cannot be cashed in until the money the firms ask from the government has been paid back.  

All this has caused American executives to literally shit all over the faces of the poor and unemployed in America and beyond (metaphorically). James F. Reda of James F. Reda and Associates has been the most flagrant diarrhoetic, calling the $500,000 pay limit "draconian". Meredith Whitney of Oppenheimer & Co. complained that

"no one goes in to Wall Street to save the world(...) compensation is the motivating factor (...) if you can't compensate your employees, they're going to go somewhere else. You're going to get a different variety of folks who are going to come in."

Presumably Whitney means that people like John Thain (pictured above), who spent $1.2 million renovating his office, including an $87,000 area rug (presumably made from derision and greed spun into cloth), will leave if their pay is capped and their ability to cash in their stocks delayed. 

America and the world would be better off with people in banking who consider $500,000 salaries an achievement, rather than an outrageous slap in the face. $500,000 plus corporate benefits plus stocks is more than enough incentive to motivate students to pursue an MBA or financial accreditation. 

America needs to stop being in awe of the rich, and realise that success beyond a certain point is a social failure if there are still the afflicted and poor scraping a living on curbs.