Retarded Begets Retarded

I've decided to go ahead and give you a Double-Dip of Political Palsy today. Two events, related only by the sheer amount of stupidity required in both cases, hit the news today: 

An ambiguous shootout on the Thai-Cambodian border which resulted in the deaths of two Cambodian soldiers is being hailed as the prelude to an all-out war between the two countries. Although neither side claims belligerence, and both governments have made appeals for calm, Reuters is 

doing the media equivalent of jeering 'Fight! Fight! Fight!' by going to the most impoverished, disgruntled and ill-educated members of each of the respective societies and asking them how they feel about the prospect of war. Unsurprisingly, a 65 year-old Thai farmer thinks 'the Khmers are laughing at us', and a 48 year-old Cambodian motorbike taxi driver says the Thais are 'trying to steal our house'. This is blatantly military bluster on both sides, serving Thailand's Somchai by diverting attention from the recent democratic crisis, and serving Cambodia's Hun Sen by diverting attention from how shit his regime is in general. Nonetheless: 'Fight! Fight, you pussies!' 

Sudan's President Omar Hassan al-Bashir, today announced his plan to end genocide in Darfur in perhaps the most

 disastrously retarded language he possibly could have thought of: 'Despite the difficulties and obstacles... we declare our determination to reach a final solution this time.' In the most toothless illusion of an announcement to have come out of Africa in the past 10 years (and that's saying a whole lot. Like, several books' worth.), he announced his plan to bring peace to Darfur mainly involved ending the violence. The intransigent and unhelpful rebels have been all skeptical about his desire for peace, too. The international community isn't holding it's breath, either. Official Sudanese estimates put the death toll at 10,000,  about one twentieth the figure the International Criminal Court is disseminating. Bashir claims the Western neo-colonial imperialistic media has grossly inflated the figure, ostensibly because ignoring the deaths of 200,000 people makes us feel more self-satisfied than ignoring 10,000 deaths.

The ICC has an outstanding warrant for the arrest of Bashir, shown above in his favourite peace-building outfit.

Tomorrow: FORBIDDEN LOVE! Exclusive pics of John McCain and Joseph Stiglitz's illicit affair in the sun-drenched Carribbean!