Pirates and Handsome Boys

Somali Pirates have now become a beloved fixture in international relations, giving diplomats things to do in a timely and regular manner. The latest is news from the Hansa Stavanger, a German container vessel seized just off Kismayu in Southern Somalia in April this year. The ship was freed today, in what German diplomats are hailing "a triumph" of negotiation.

Said German Foreign Minister Frank Walter-Steinmeier: "My thanks goes to those who worked tirelessly to bring about a solution".

Of course, the solution was to pay the pirates $2.7 million, thank them, and ask them if they could please have another. One can only wonder at the kind of double-retard-think mind that accepts this result as well as the moratorium on negotiation with "terrorists" who actually have a political agenda. One can also only wonder how easy it must be for a German negotiator to accept a million dollar kickback from the pirates in return for telling the German government "You better pay them, man, these guys are psychos, man, fuckin psychos."

It must be incredibly easy.

Also today, the Taliban have furnished an example of the mathematical postulate that the more spittle-fleck you are about being right-wing and religiously prudish, the more likely you are to be a lascivious gay. The mullahs of man-love announced that it is against god's will to have "shiny new phones" with pictures of "unrelated women" or "handsome boys" on them. The insistence with which these bedouins of the butt keep using the expression "handsome boys" is disconcerting enough, before you factor in the inevitable punishment: being held down and getting your ass lashed raw.

Thinking of their Afghan dignity, after sodomising a handsome boy with a shiny phone

These sheikhs of shit-packing issued a religious ordinance on the matter, stating that "People should think of their Afghan dignity rather than buying shiny phones"

Nokia and Ericsson have both issued statements showing that they are being proactive in designing Taliban-friendly phones which have an automatic photo-editor that turns boys into pictures of Steve Buscemi and girls into pictures of your mum, as well as a matte finish.

These imams of imbibing semen have been causing all sorts of problems with the Afghani elections, as well.