0Y5T3R 1Z n00bz!

I have an Oyster photocard, meaning I shall now be paying 30% less to soil every dank alleyway in London (Zones 1-2)! If you're a regular reader (either one of you), you'll know I called Transport For London (tfl) a bunch of money-grubbing sots. I stand by my judgment, but now add that they are foolish money-grubbing sots! Ha ha ha!

In other news, I have just taken out an 18 month £15 a month contract with T-Mobile, who have promised to give me a phone for free. We'll just have to see how they try to swindle me. The penny-pinching sots. 

Still no news about joining the Network of Italians Abroad. I've called the office, but they're not in. 

A Tragedy of Journalistic Standards

I considered doing a piece today on the recent parliamentary elections in Austria which have led to a worryingly huge increase in support for two far-right parties, Alliance for Austria's future, and the ubiquitously named Freedom Party. But I thought I'd let that pan out and give you all(both of you) a bit of a break from parliamentary intrigue, at least until tomorrow. 

Whilst perusing the BBC's video news in the hopes of bringing you all something a little bit less dry, and possibly something with more tits (there aren't very many in most European parliaments.), I came across the promisingly named video 'Swedish Women Dice With Death on M6'. You can see the video here. What I thought was going to be two mud-wrestling Swedish babes come to England to make it large, mistaking traffic rules on the M6, and having to mud-wrestle their way out of the country turned out to just be a really tragic, sad story, milked for as much drama as possible by British taxpayer money. Obviously.

Two Swedish women attempted to commit suicide, it seems, by running in front of fast traffic on a motorway. After being taken into police custody, they repeatedly broke free and ran into traffic over and over until one had been hit by a lorry and critically wounded, and another had to be restrained by six officers to prevent her from running back into traffic. And this is after she'd already been hit by one car. The video ends with talk of them being charged with assault on the officers, when it's blindingly obvious that they're clearly not in their right minds. 

It takes a certain sort of mind in editorial journalism to not only consider running a story on such a tragic event, but luridly cutting the video so that the cries of the women and officers involved are given an echo to add a dramatic touch to the proceedings. Journalism has a purpose. It's there to inform us on what's going on in the world so that we are better cognizant of our place in it, and therefore better able to make judgments on how to act in it. No one gains from watching a video of two women trying to run into traffic, beyond clucking at the television and saying 'crazy world, eh'. The idea of journalism pandering to the masses and producing 'edu-tainment' is a laboured point.  There is a place for making political or scientific journalism accessible and entertaining for audiences. That's different from dredging up the most tragic, pointless events one can and proudly putting them on display for us to gawk at like some post-modern freakshow.

To cap it all off, the video went black after it finished, then asked me if I wanted to see 'MORE LIKE THIS', and directed me to a wordless video of a boy being hit by a bus. They might as well have cut in ''hurr hurr'' and the sound of crunching popcorn.

Bono + Brown vs. The French

This week has seen one of the worst financial crises in recent memory, according to econo- mists, bankers, and other slick big-towners. Everyone is talking about 30% increases in the price of food, the dearth of loan opportunities, and events like Lehman, the 4th largest investment bank in the US, filing for bankruptcy have basically confirmed the 'hell in a handbasket' diagnosis. Amidst all the squealing issuing from the Western world, what is of most concern to the folks at the United Nations is that Western countries do not renege on their promises of aid to developing countries. French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner stated that he thought that it was 'a bit unfair' for starving, AIDS-ridden African countries with shattered economies to be asking the richest countries in the world to honour commitments they made to give aid. This sentiment has been echoed elsewhere in the developed world, though only the French had the audacity to get their most senior diplomat to essentially give the finger to two-thirds of the world.

Much like the armies of Saruman bringing forth the cave troll to assail the mountain fortress of Helm's Deep, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon (pictured above in his Kofi Annan costume), has brought out the big guns by unleashing Bono on the French. 'The last few days have re-injected momentum that must sweep on' Bono opined. 'Even in these tough times, this historic promise has never been more important to keep.' Slightly less eloquent was senior statesman Gordon Brown, who added 'This would be the worst time to turn back.' The French have not been contacted concerning a reply, but it is safe to say they would not dare turn their sharp Gallic tongues on the messianic Irishman.

Ban Ki-Moon is currently asking for $72 billion in aid every year for the next ten years, in a program he claims has the ability to win the war on poverty. He cited the great success of attempts to eradicate malaria in Africa as evidence that the continent is more than just a cash-sink. The fact that in the midst of one of the financial panic there are still loud voices calling for increased aid to developing countries is something to be proud of. Foreign aid, especially to sub-Saharan Africa, has traditionally been at the very bottom of the priority list of most budgeting legislatures.  But we have seen a steady increase in the amounts of aid promised by G8 governments, and although there is a worryingly large discrepancy between this figure and the amounts actually delivered, political will is a genuine precursor to actual policy. Africa will not be receiving $72 billion this year. No one thinks that. The World Bank on Thursday promised just $1.1 billion to continue efforts to eradicate malaria in Africa. But we are still seeing real progress.

Forget Chocolate

Today Thomas Doerflein, celebrity zookeeper, died in undisclosed circum- stances, aged 44. The German skyrocketed to fame after he adopted a small polar bear after its mother rejected it. Naming it Knut, he then proceeded to spend 150 days giving it round-the-clock attention, food, and life affirming talks. The bear and his keeper became celebrities after it was discovered that polar bear cubs are incredibly cute. Doerflein's shows where he would cuddle the bear and talk to it the same way people talk to babies attracted audiences of over 1 million.

Most importantly, though, is that Doerflein became an international sex symbol following his selfless acts. Not only was he rugged and bearded, but sensitive and passionate about animals. Women's knees were sublimating everywhere. He was sent reams of love letters  and leering young women would often catcall 'Knuuut! Knuuuut!' at him while he walked by. The ingrate Thomas Doerflein refused to revel in either media or female attention. But you've heard it here first, lads. You say it best when you say it with an infant bear. We show Mr. Doerflein due respect for being one of the pioneering players of our times, and for giving us a wonderful new way to score the ever-elusive 'political activist ass'. I salute you, sir, truly you are a Polar Pimp.

Just Keep Talking...

The Iranian Nuclear Saga enters its latest chapter today as France, Britain, Germany and the USA began talks concerning the imposition of a fourth round of trade sanctions on Iran, in order to force it to stop uranium enrichment. Russia and China have not been invited to the talks, on the assumption that they will only contribute smug grins and akimbo intransigence. A USA State Department spokesman, Sean McCormack, has stated that he 'would not set expectations high at all for this meeting actually producing a definitive answer', which begs a few questions. The talks offer trade bonuses if Iran cooperates, as well as sanctions if it fails to comply. 

An IAEA report earlier this week complained that the Iranian authorities had 'stonewalled' their efforts to determine whether Iran's nuclear program was for civilian or military purposes. Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, of course, maintains that the IAEA investigation was unobstructed, and that the nuclear program has only ever been for civilian use. The talks are about putting more pressure on Ahmedinejad, already unpopular in Iran. Using the UN to put pressure on recalcitrant states is much more effective than the unilateral, gunpowder-flavoured pressure the USA usually prefers. Iran is being presented with a choice between being brought into the international community and participating in talks, or remaining a pariah, however unjustifiably. The USA's refusal to engage Iran in talks until uranium enrichment is halted is a good thing. No one should deny Iran the right to civilian nuclear power, but it must be willing to take whatever steps necessary to assuage a rightly nervous world. Evidently the USA has better people working in New York than in Washington.

After a Brief Stint in Metallica...

Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni, pictured left pulling the invisible puppet strings of politics, has pulled ahead of Shaul Mofaz, the right-wing ex-general, in polls to succeed Ehud Olmert as leader of the Kadima party. The battle for leadership of the more lenient of the two brutally oppressive and racist Israeli political parties began when its leader, Olmert, announced he would step down after being bogged down by allegations of corruption. Livni is widely regarded as the more reasonable of the two candidates, having been Israel's chief negotiator in talks with Palestinian authorities for the past 10 months. Shaul Mofaz, on the other hand, has a reputation for being hawkish and belligerent, declaring 'I have no doubt that peace is achieved from a position of might and deterrence'. Although the mood in Israel at the moment favours the election of a more moderate, solution-seeking leader, a long-standing rivalry between Sephardic Jews of Middle Eastern descent and Ashkenazi Jews of European origin means that Iranian-born Mofaz stands more of a chance than he otherwise would. 

Israel's unicameral parliamentary system is given to fractious faction politics, with coalitions and parties rising and falling with remarkable ease. The Kadima party was founded by Ariel Sharon off the back of his long-standing Likud party, and has for the past three years acted in the characteristically schizophrenic manner of most Israeli governments, proffering both the olive branch in the form of unilateral withdrawals from occupied areas, and the cudgel of unrestrained military aggression, seen most notably in the psychotic devastation of Lebanon carried out by Israeli Defence Forces in response to the kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers. The hot-headed and unstable politics of this key state in the Middle East are the reason that peace efforts have been so halting and prone to backslide. The absence in the Israeli parliament of an upper chamber, which would have provided a more sober second voice to that of the Knesset, also contributes to the mercurial nature of politics in Israel. Israel pretty much leads and determines the tone of Middle Eastern politics, and what is most needed for progress is a single, stable, unified voice coming from Tel Aviv.

The Idiocy of Sharing a House With a Senile, Pissed-Off Hippopotamus

A power-sharing deal between the two main parties of Zimbabwean politics, the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) and Zanu-PF, has finally been brokered, ending the stalemate that has dominated Zimbabwe's affairs for months. Morgan Tsvangirai has agreed to fulfil the role of Prime Minister under Robert Mugabe's presidency. Most Zimbabweans, while not happy with the decision, have expressed relief that the crisis is finally over. Mugabe, the 84 year old dictator whose ineffectual and brutal rule brought Zimbabwe to its knees following independence in 1980, greedily forced his flaccid cock into Zimbabwe's mouth (metaphorically) with a paranoid, quixotic speech blaming the country's woes on Britain and the US. 

The decision is not a compromise or a solution, but a cease-fire. Mugabe still retains the most important powers in government: he controls the army and forms and heads the cabinet. Tsvangirai will have a presence in the new government, but the continuing violence between Zanu-PF and MDC supporters implies that the two factions are hostile and will be unwilling to compromise. Power-sharing deals are difficult and require a genuine sense of cooperation to function. Forcing these two highly personalistic leaders to cooperate is artifice at its best, and is unlikely to solve Zimbabwe's political crisis, let alone the ragged, shit-caked hole where the country's economy used to be. 

It is clear to everyone and my dog (Oswald) that progress will not happen as long as Mugabe remains a figure in Zimbabwean politics. He has achieved the near-mythical status of rulers like Kim Jong-Il and Fidel Castro: bitter, crazy old men who seem to be impervious to both deposition and old age. The hopeful statements that have been pouring out of European and American leaders concerning the power-sharing deal ring hollow, as it's pretty clear that we all just want to mark off this chapter and get back to playing Where's Waldo and developing stronger varieties of viagra and rohypnol. 

Socialism in Latin America, Take #42132

Bolivia's socialist, pro-indigenous president Evo Morales, pictured left demon-strating the size of his 'national pride for Bolivia'(see below), has made progress in attempts to stabilise the situation in his country, which has in recent months been gripped by protests on the part of representatives of the richer regions of Bolivia. Provinces like Tarija, which contains much of Bolivia's considerable natural gas wealth, are balking at Morales's plans to address Bolivia's huge inequalities by distributing gas wealth more evenly between regions. The renewed attempts at dialogue came after violent protests ended with the deaths of 15 pro-government farmers, and the declaration of martial law in the region of Pando. 

Bolivia's crisis stems from a problem endemic to the vast majority of Latin American countries, the sharp inequality between indigenous, rural workers, and the mostly white middle and upper class. The unique thing about Bolivia is that it is the only country in Latin America where the indigenous are actually the majority, forming 65% of Bolivia's population. Evo Morales took power on a pro-indigenous, pro-worker platform, and this has ruffled the economic and political supremacy of the ruling class in Bolivia, leading to the protests and a continuing row with the US, which naturally supports the anti-government protesters. Morales's expulsion of Philip Goldberg, the US ambassador to La Paz, due to accusations that he was aiding the violent anti-government protest movements seems paranoid, but is perhaps understandable given the US's history in Latin America.

Managing a conflict between the middle class and working class of a country is heavy shit, especially when there is as much social, economic, and racial division between the two sides as there is in Bolivia. Citizens of wealthy regions of the country see no reason why their wealth should be taken away from them, and feel out of touch with a president who is unashamedly working in the interests of the country's indigenous poor. Morales has fought his entire career to better the lot of the indigenous peoples in his country, and his goals of land reform and wealth redistribution are laudable. But he needs to present these economic changes on a more accessible platform that promises dividends for all members of society. The only problem is if he continues to go down the path of demagoguery and populism that led him to take Hugo Chávez, the fattest thorn in the USA's side, as his closest ally. Morales is still a promising politician, and his socialist goals are achievable (and really awesome), but not without the cooperation of the entire population.

ALTERNATIVE THINGS MORALES IS DEMONSTRATING THE SIZE OF

-A fish he caught last week

-The amount up to which he has 'had it'

-How big Barbara Bush's ass is, seen from behind

-The length of the sub sandwich he desires from the Bolivian people

-His penis.

A Ban on Laziness

UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-Moon(pictured left), has publicly chided the UN for being too lazy, managerially inefficient, and opaque. 'There is bureaucracy...and then there is the UN', he said at a news conference today. The UN has long been derided, especially by the US, which provides much of the UN's funding, as being inefficient and a waste of time and money. Ban entered the highest position in the UN on a platform of reform and streamlining, a realistic, moderate turn after Kofi Annan's lofty goals. 

It is not difficult to see why Ban Ki-Moon is frustrated. Coming from a culture that espouses diligence and the importance of bureaucracy, Ban now has to deal with one of the most bloated organisations in existence, a haven for sinecure 'sub-committees' and fruitless talking shops. Ban Ki-Moon's goal of seeing the UN 're-energised, re-charged and full of motivation and full of creativity and versatility' is a noble one. Newspapers and UN spokespeople who accused Ban Ki-Moon of admitting failure are missing the point. It is not about admitting failure, it's about being disappointed with a lack of progress.

Another comment of Ban's that was taken out of context was during his speech on August 29, where he stated 'I tried to lead by example. Nobody followed.' Critics have been declaring this an admission that Ban Ki-Moon lacks authority. Perhaps they should remember that Mr. Ban also comes from a culture that encourages kicking people in the face.

What Hubris Does to Foreign Policy

Last Wednesday a secret incursion on the part of a squadron of US Navy Seals (pictured left) resulted in the deaths of approximately 25 'suspected' Al-Qaeda insurgents in Pakistan. The Navy Seals were immediately extracted by helicopter following the raid. Just today an anonymous source confirmed that President George Bush secretly approved orders to conduct incursions into Pakistani territory without the consent of Pakistani authorities. Now that the news is out, the US must be hoping that such a daring raid on the part of the most mythically awesome military organisation in the world will conjure up enough images of crazy Navy Seal ninja shit to deflect major criticism.

This marks one of the most hypocritical breaches of the sovereignty of foreign nations in recent memory. You will recall the heavy criticism the US leveled at Russia for breaching Georgian sovereignty by sending in troops to 'stabilise' the regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. The US defends this double standard by claiming that Pakistan has been insufficiently effective at fighting terrorist cells within its own borders. Yet, if the US wishes to be able to enter foreign countries and kill their citizens in order to serve its own interests, it must not get so worked up when Russia does the same. 

Unilateral military incursion into a foreign country's borders was not justified when Russia did it, and it is not justified now, especially when the orders are being given 'secretly'. There is no need for secrecy on this issue. The terrorists already know the US is trying to kill them. The only people the US administration was trying to keep in the dark by giving these orders quietly was the international community.

Kim Jong-ILL?

North Korea's 'Eternal President', Kim Jong-Il, failed to attend the 60th anniversary celebrations of his country's founding today, causing a storm of speculation over possible health problems, as well as producing this priceless picture of the dictator and his friends (pictured above). 

A US Intelligence spokesperson has posited that Kim Jong-Il may have suffered a stroke, and that this opened the floor for speculation as to whether the North Korean tyrant was still fit to govern. This observation opens the floor to speculation as to where the fuck US Intelligence has been for the past 14 years. 

Kim Jong-Il, who took over the reins of power after his father's death in 1994, commands the fifth largest standing army in the world, and is known for his canny diplomacy of brinksmanship, his repeated attempts to develop nuclear weapons, and his fondness for vast displays of synchronised dancing, which may or may not have inspired the dance choreography and political message of Britney Spears' single 'I'm a Slave 4 U'. 

His death could mean a breakthrough in a political impasse that has stymied reconciliation attempts between South and North Korea, still formally at war, for over a decade. That's all I'm saying.

The News Stand Nabob

Though not strictly speaking an news item, London based weekly publication The Economist is very much an item of news. (See that? Pretty clever.) The Economist has been setting agendas and informing the minds of the most powerful men in the world for well over a century, since its founding in 1843 by Scottish hatmaker James Wilson. From humble beginnings it has grown into one of the most prestigious publications ever to glare at you disapprovingly from the magazine rack, right next to the last copy of Nuts, so that Mao can show you just how disappointed he is with you(pictured above). 

The Economist is famous for its editorial tilt, which ranges from being called 'moderately monetarist' to 'Ebenezer Scrooge and Margaret Thatcher bumping cocks'. An oft-cited example is its intensely revisionist view on the development of Asian Tiger economies, which holds that the startling development of countries like Japan, South Korea and Taiwan is due to their fundamental openness to foreign trade, and their embracing of the competition of the free market. One has to admire the Oxonian aplomb with which this publication manages to ignore the facts entirely by dint of its overweening tone of British condescension. It's no surprise that the magazine is most popular in the USA (over 50% of its readership), where it is considered the epitome of elite publications.

The problem with The Economist is that it presumes to both summarise a week's worth of political, financial, economic, technological and cultural news in the span of a few dozen articles, and provide an insightful analysis in each of these topics. What results is a rushed, often out-dated publication that relies much more on clever, maverick-sounding judgments than on measured appraisal. In this weeks issue, with only two articles of space with which to cover Sarah Palin's candidacy, an issue which readers will have been saturated with the entire week, The Economist's greatest asset is its editorial style and air of authority. There is rarely anything in The Economist that cannot be gleaned through a fairly regular daily review of the news, and the most useful service the magazine provides is as a weekly manifesto of the opinions a well-read right-wing upper-middle-class man might have on current affairs. 

Ex-Fascist Still Fascist!

In other news, the gargantuan mayor of Rome (pictured left), Gianni Alemanno, has caused some political fracas with his comments concerning fascism, an ideology he once espoused as a member of the MSI, a neo-fascist group formed in the ashes of post-war Italy. In an interview with Italian broadsheet Corriere Della Sera, Alemanno stated that he didn't think fascism itself was 'pure evil', but that the racist and anti-semitic policies brought in under Italian fascism were.

The most interesting thing about this story is the amount of coverage it actually got outside of Italy. It demonstrates the utter ignorance the rest of the world has regarding the way politics is run on the peninsula. Italy is a country whose political system encompasses proud neo-fascists on the one hand and staunch communist doctrinaires on the other. It is a country where an ex-porn star running for office ironically has a cleaner record than most other politicians (in terms of both policy and sexual deviance), and where our Foreign Minister wore a t-shirt printed with the controversial Danish Muhammad cartoons in the midst of the scandal. In other words, it is not a country in which imprudent, lewd, or offensive comments are news. Unless directed at over-sensitive German socialists.

The comments did not cause an uproar. A Reuters news article amusingly refers to 'Italy's Left' creating an outcry, by which they really meant an impressively bearded Communist professor and a few students starstruck by the size of his beard. Of course, the gigantic mayor Alemanno has little to fear from such voices on the margins.

Inscrutable Chinamen Fail in Bid to Oppress Inscrutable Chinamen

The results of the Hong Kong legislative elections have just come out, and the news is good, if varied: between 22 to 24 of the 60 seats have been assigned to the pro-democracy camp of Hong Kong parties, meaning they retain veto power in most legislative procedure, where a 2/3s majority is needed.

This was by no means a certain thing. Beijing was thought to have closed the debate on democracy in Hong Kong by promising universal suffrage by 2017 'at the earliest'. Hong Kong's economic troubles have been a salient issue, with inflation passing 6% and growth slowing down. This has drawn much attention away from the issue of democratic and political autonomy. Apparently this was not enough for the pragmatic and independent Hong Kongites, though, who voted overwhelmingly for pro-democracy parties (only 30 out of the 60 seats were actually up for election).

It could be that the citizens of Hong Kong, long accustomed to the liberal governance of Britain, are unwilling to relinquish the political and social benefits they gained during their period of colonisation. It could be that they consider themselves a different breed to Mainland Chinese, and want to retain autonomy from them. They could still be smarting from the ill-fated attempt on the part of the Beijing Olympic Council to recruit its paralympic team entirely from healthy Hong Kong citizens. Whatever the case may be, Hong Kong citizens have weathered another election clinging to the scraps of their autonomy.

P-P-P-Party Time!

The headlines have made the situation clear: 'Benazir Bhutto's Widower takes power in Pakistan'. Though this is demonstrative of the extent to which Asif Ali Zardari lives in his deceased wife's shadow, it also goes a long way towards explaining why he holds the reins of power now. 

We were expected to mourn Benazir Bhutto, the putative counterpoint to the dictatorial Musharraf, the beacon stubbornly advocating democracy and free cosmetics for a nation beleaguered by military rule and inappropriate use of foundation. And similarly, we are expected to celebrate the ascent to power of her husband, to whom she presumably passed the torch of mending Pakistan's spirit and restoring its devotion to democracy. Unfortunately, that's all bullshit. 

Doing some cursory research on Bhutto, her husband, and the party they run, reveals more fingers in pies than some sick, freakish Dusseldorf-produced finger-pie fetish porn. The Pakistan People's Party, founded in 2002, has been an unabashed vehicle for the promotion of one family: the Bhuttos. Indeed, the leadership of the party has always belonged to the Bhuttos, even after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, when the party briefly passed to her adolescent son. This is not a party which is founded on the principles of meritocratic democracy. It is a clear successor to the politics of patronage dominated by a few prominent elite families.

Though the New York Times now strenously denies it, both Benazir Bhutto and Asif Ali Zardari were tried and found guilty of corruption involving gross abuses of power regarding kickbacks received from Polish tractor producers and French military manufacturers. The Bhuttos were sentenced in both Pakistan and Switzerland, with evidence from Polish, Swiss and French authorities. Their assets include a £6.35 million neo-Tudor(sometimes referred to as 'tudorbethan' by art historians, gangsters and pimps) house in Surrey, and undisclosed millions of dollars in Swiss and Dubai banks. Zardari has no governing experience to speak of. This is not democracy as we should know it.

The fact is, though, that Zardari was elected, easily defeating his closest rival, the fantastically named Saeeduzzaman Siddiqui. This is the man the Pakistani people see fit to govern them. And this is the problem. Endemic to most developing states, including many in Africa and Southeast Asia, is the chieftain culture that tolerates and expects elected officials to almost immediately become some of the wealthiest people in the country. Whereas in the West, theoretically at least, elected representatives are expected to adhere to the ethic of service and responsibility, the political culture in countries new to democracy is still redolent of autocracy, and rulership. 

It was an election. It did replace a military dictator. But the election of a man who escaped two corruption convictions on the back of his wife's reputation, who leads an openly dynastic 'political party', who still possesses fantastic ill-gotten wealth in Swiss bank accounts (an amnesty was declared for the corruption charges) but claims to be a socialist, is not the kind of election anyone in the international community should promote, and not one anyone in Pakistan should be happy with. 

The Autocratic Dark Side of the Bourgeoisie

The situation in Thailand is worsening for Samak Sundaravej, its Prime Minister. After taking power last year at the head of the People's Power Party (PPP), Samak has found his rule to be increasingly under fire. The latest is that Samak has agreed to hold a referendum, although what exactly the referendum will be on is still a matter of debate. Given such strident concessions on the part of the Thai PM, it is hard to see what the opposition, a grassroots organised movement against the government called the People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD), is complaining about.

We are used to seeing grassroots protest movements as the voice of the disenfranchised poor rising up to strike back at the elites that have exploited them for so long. At least this is the explanation the average member of Respect will give you before ordering his post-protest McSandwich with Coke. But Thailand, the self-proclaimed ''Land of Smiles'', and the only country that considers its eerily realistic transexuals a source of constant national pride, has once again turned things inside out. As it were.

The PAD, the opposition movement to Samak's regime, is actually a conglomerate of middle-class interests. Thaksin Shinawatra, Samak's predecessor, was a self-proclaimed champion of the working class and the rural poor. Samak shares Thaksin's political base, and this support for farmers and other low-class Thais has irritated the Bangkok-based bourgeoisie. The result is the PAD, which is led by one of Thailand's biggest media magnates, and which has made demands that 70% of the parliament be appointed, rather than democratically elected. 

These kinds of autocratic demands are symptomatic of a society where the bourgeoisie considers itself of an entirely different (and superior) breed to the working class, and is dissatisfied with a democratic system that essentially gives power to the majority, which is in all cases the poorest section of society. Their efforts can be seen to be an effort to use their political clout outside of the electoral system, where they feel their inferior numbers give them little chance of promoting their own interests. 

In any case, Samak is having a worse time in Thailand than Gary Glitter did, and you can see the strain showing as he quotes Shakespeare at a BBC reporter. He'll have to find a way to reconcile rural populism with urban middle-class interests if he wants to stay in power.

Enter the Racist Dragon

The Prime Minister of Japan Yasuo Fukuda announced his resignation yesterday, and this has sparked yet another leadership struggle in Japanese politics. You will recall Junichiro Koizumi, who was PM of Japan until 2006, when he was replaced by Shinzo Abe, Japan's foremost David Schwimmer impersonator. Abe in turn resigned last September, following intense political pressure in the wake of Agricultural Minister Toshikatsu Matsuoka's suicide. He was replaced by Yasuo Fukuda, who has led the Liberal Democratic Party of Japan, and the country, until yesterday. His most likely successor will be Taro Aso, who already has the support of 22 of Japan's 47 prefectures.

Taro Aso is a foreign-educated Roman Catholic with a history of controversial (read bigoted) statements concerning race, ethnic stereotypes, and nationalist sentiment. What Boris Johnson is to the Conservative Party, Taro Aso is to a grouping of cunts. One would think that the lesson of turning to strong yet radical leaders in times of political turmoil would have been one well-learned. Perhaps that's too harsh a judgment to make of the Japanese, though. The political system of Japan is much more given to party succession than to radical shifts in power (for examples of that, see Italy's tortured parliamentary system). The Liberal Democratic Party in Japan has been in power since 1996, and it shows no serious signs of leaving. Taro Aso is a careerist within the LDP, having been a party member since 1976, and working his way up the ranks to being the Foreign Minister. Aso's presidency is not going to be the salve that Japan's irritated politics needs at the moment, but neither is it a sign of worrying political polarisation.

Trouser Browsing

Today I downloaded Google Chrome. After digging my way through the 30-page comic-book style explanation of the new features of the browser and why it's a complete overhaul, presenting a whole new philosophy of browsing, I finally got around to tinkering with it. Why, even now I am writing from within the confines of this brand new interweb experience. 

It's aright, but now I'm left with the distinct sense that Technology is leaving me behind. The comic-book explanation was written in a tone that suggested that the information it was assuming was blindingly obvious, and laid out in a way that implied that its target audience was people in their teens. I found it opaque and impenetrable, and only with the help of an intrepid friend did I end up making any real sense of it. I can't help but think that the vast majority of adolescents and young adults out there now are intimately familiar with the internet and all it's components that only seem to frighten and anger me.  

So overall, I'm not sure that downloading Google Chrome was a smart move. At least I felt on top of things with Firefox. I knew how to download a plug-in, I knew how to activate said plug-in. Now, like a boy playing Street Fighter II Alpha with his one friend for years, I am thrust into a Japanese arcade. Fresh meat.

The Charm of Territorial Integrity

So why is it that Georgia, a small, corrupt Eurasian country in what is effectively the geographical equivalent of the devil's asshole has been championed as a brave and defiant victim of Russian imperialist aggression? From the news saturation of the Russian recognition of the breakaway regions of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, we are led to believe that Russia has engaged in an unconscionable and lawless act by supporting the independence of these two regions.

But of course, national self-determination is a right for Kurdish peoples, for East Timorians, and even Palestinians. Why do the South Ossetians and Abkhazians need to put up with Georgian control? Both regions have had referendums voting overwhelmingly in favour of secession, but of course, Georgia is under no legal international obligation to recognise these attempts at self-determination. What we are seeing from the USA and Europe is an attempt to use the 'old' politics of state sovereignty and non-interference that they have so thoroughly flouted over the past decade to condemn Russia's admittedly mercenary actions in the region.

There are no heroes here, and no villains. Georgia's president is trying to crush secessionism within its borders and pacify the regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. Their attempts to do this by military force backfired when Russian troops intervened on supposedly humanitarian grounds and kicked the Georgians out, going on to the rest of Georgia proper in order to 'stabilise' the situation. And yet, in this situation of moral ambiguity, the British press comes down heavily in favour of Georgia and its scum-sucking American puppet, Mikheil Saakashvili, who has been all too eager to level accusations of imperialist aggression at Russia whilst quietly ignoring his own autocratic excesses. There has been ample coverage of Georgian demonstrators decrying this move by Russia, but little to no coverage of Abkhazian and South Ossetian points of view. Let's be clear and ask the question repeatedly: why is it unacceptable for a region to declare independence if the vast majority of its inhabitants wish it so?